Bulan 001 - In Defense of Chaotic Energy


BULAN-001
In Defense of Chaotic NRG
31.08.2023

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Blue Sturgeon Supermoon
Sign: 7°25’ Pisces
Illumination: 99.66%
Distance: 357,341 km
Perigee: 0.997
Here’s a moonmix for this entry.
Tracklists and future moonmixes can be found here.


It was my mother’s birthday on the day of the Blue Moon, 31 August 2023, so naturally my mind recounted the last conversation we had over the phone. It revolved around her recent meeting with a Feng Shui master by the name of Desmond Ng, whom she had asked to aid in the upcoming renovation of our family house.


He criticised the original layout of our home, especially the shingle roof and the outdoor water features that run alongside the length of the main corridor. Apparently adding fish into the otherwise sterile, but architecturally aesthetic gatherings of water, will help balance out the chi 氣. Another energetically disturbing feature is the fact that there’s no primary or distinguishing entrance to the house, which is apparently counteractive to our family’s interpersonal dynamics. (I wonder whether the umbilical cords that belonged to me and my fellow siblings, which my mum had buried together to strengthen our familial bond, neutralised that particular drainage of energy).  

Before I continue, I should preface this by mentioning that for most of her life, my mum has been pretty skeptical of New Age Spiritualism, Traditional Chinese Medicine and Metaphysics (e.g. Feng Shui). However, since being a survivor of five types of cancers, her outlook towards these philosophies has shifted. I don’t think she’s a full-blown believer, but she did seem impressed by the qualifications and positive track record Desmond Ng possessed. She had been referred to him by her close friends, and his biography can be read here.

After this meeting with Master Ng and the rather dismayed architects, who now had to adjust their designs according to the methodology of Feng Shui, my mum received a reading of my birth chart. The phone call I had with her was in part to reiterate his findings. 

There’s something uncanny about having your birth chart read by a complete stranger, however, I was in the midst of a life decision and although I feel like we all possess some degree of free will, it’s sometimes easier to relinquish it in favour of fatalism. Selfishly, it’s easier to blame the alignment of stars or flow of chi 氣 than it is to live in regret or be solely accountable for the decisions you make in life. This reading served as a metaphysical yet escapist/ defeatist way to end my decision paralysis. 


Moonmix art: @bugdo11
Anyway, here are the findings that my mum translated from Mandarin: 

  • Characteristics: Non-conforming, stubborn, cold exterior but soft nature, unconfrontational (but can come across as critical), artistic, homebody. 
  • Problem: lacks fire and energy is chaotic, lacks concentration and is too diffused.
  • Solution: wear warmer and brighter colours (i.e.: red, yellow, purple). Stop wearing black or cool tones. Keep long hair and dye it red or have red undertones. 
  • Environment: Ideally based in a tropical country, like Malaysia, without all four seasons. Otherwise, she will suffer from health problems. Fire energy environments like DJ/ live music shows are healthy.

For context as to why the last point about the environment is so specific, it’s because I’ve recently moved to Hokkaido, Japan from my hometown, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I used to play other people’s music to people at home, and my mum was wondering whether that was a healthy passion (DJ-ing). As the Feng Shui reading states, environments with four seasons, like Japan, may not be so healthy for my well-being, and to be fair to Master Ng, he’s not entirely wrong.  (Within 3 days of moving to Hokkaido, I managed to fall off a bike, twisted my right ankle and lost one side of my loafers on the way to work. I had also signed the lease for an unfurnished apartment, so was in the midst of setting up utilities while starting the new job two days after arriving in Japan. This coupled with fluctuating weather patterns and getting accustomed to cultural differences culminated in recurrent fevers). 

However, like many readings, some adjectives used to describe one’s character are so ambiguous and universal that they could apply to almost everyone. Nevertheless, I do agree that I am stubborn as there’s almost no way I would be able to wear warm colours as my entire wardrobe literally consists of black, beige, grey, white and various shades of blue. Until recently, my hair has been bleached and toned to a spectrum of blue and grey for two consecutive years, leading to a complete erasure of any remnants of red melanin or moisture within my hair follicles. It is also relatively short. Due to work policies, I had to dye it dark brown as citing premature ageing did not qualify as a justifying reason to keep my grey/silver hair.

Prior to this reading, I had consulted my college friend’s astrologer, Felissa, as she has a strong and uncomfortably accurate track record of predictions. Like Desmond, she also predicted the departure date (from our current reality) of our friends’ loved ones. Here are the similarities and differences between the two readings of my birth chart (I guess it’s kind of like a cross-cultural comparison of metaphysics, lol). 

Difference: Corporeal nature is best suited to be in colder climates. I am a Capricorn sun (earth), Aries rising (fire) and Libra moon (air), with the majority of the planets in my chart being either air or earth, therefore I lack water, not fire. 

Similarity: Chaotic or confused energy. Creative, but sense of self is fragmented and blurred because Jupiter and Neptune are close to my sun sign. Emphasis on ☉ conjunct ♆ (tenth house).

Anyways, the genesis of this website stems from the realisation that the common denominator between the two readings is the presence of chaotic energy. 

Like a notebook or sketchbook, this website is basically a way to record inspiration and ephemeral memories, published on the internet, a medium that is stored in crystals, as detailed in the scientific video below (longer excerpt here). Basically, it’s a way to consolidate my perpetual confusion and fascination about things, that hopefully may be of interest to you too. The only structure it follows is the lunar calendar, which is linked to the name of the site.  

So far, I’ve used bb.bulan as my Instagram/ DJ name ( ´・・)ノ(._.`). It wasn’t intended to be an ironically cringe DJ name; rather, its (unironic) level of cringe depended on the context. I started the IG handle in college in New Hampshire, a place where Bahasa Melayu (BM) was not the dominant language (my BM skills are at the level of a 5-year-old) and during a time when I was binge-watching Sailor Moon. 
Bulan means moon in Malay, so when I started selecting music for people to dance to in KL, its meaning became less abstract. However, the prefix ‘bb.’ before ‘bulan’ left the name with a residual degree of ambiguity since people still asked about what the acronym stood for. I actually don’t know, so like a crypto bro in need of guidance, I shall move briefly away from Astrology and Feng Shui to the teachings of ChatGPT. 

‘bb’ as ‘bulletin board’ seems the most relevant in this context, although I aim to write stuff tangentially related to the moon.  If you want to read about things explicitly about the moon, NASA’s dedicated website is great and even has an interactive map that watches the bulan daily (a constant and literal tsukimi月見). There’s also online data from the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter Camera (LROC) for more moon surveillance.

Going back to the possible meanings surrounding ‘bb.’, I came up with a few options that may be suitable for this site and will list thirteen of them here: 

1. Blog Blog Bulan
2. Blob Blog Bulan
3. Bebhionn Bergelmir Bulan
4. Bloodstone Beam Bulan
5. Based Bladee Bulan
6. Blood Blade Bulan
7. Burn Book Bulan
8. Born Blank Bulan
9. 9BABC1 B0B0B0 Bulan
10. Banshee Banter Bulan
11. BattleOn Bubble Bulan
12. Basalt Betwixt Bulan
13. Beta Boi Bulan  

Due to my chronic indecision, the meaning of ‘bb’ can continue to exist as a variable. 

Since that’s been semi-resolved, I’ll return to the metaphysical themes mentioned earlier. When I explained my thought process behind starting this website (re: chaotic energy, lack of fire etc.) to a friend, Jona, his response was rather coincidental. According to Feng Shui, he too lacks fire, and since he only wears black, his counteractive strategy also happens to utilise the virtual space. While mine takes the form of this website, his manifests in the same red tone portrayed in his online profile images or website backgrounds that pertain to his work or identity. This digital amulet, characterised by Hex #FD0000 is Jona’s scheme to induce equilibrium within his chi 氣. ( I know hex, here, refers to hexadecimal colour code, but I can’t help but think about how its witch/ spell definition is simultaneously appropriate within this setting). 



Just looking at Jona’s profile picture on IG brought up memories from when I visited my old college roommate, Candle, in Seattle during the post-pandemic Summer of 2021. I hadn’t seen them since graduation, so as a reunion activity, we thought it would be cool to go for an aura reading at the now-closed establishment: New Age Psychic. Using some sort of Kirlian photography-bio-feedback ‘80s AuraCam and chakra software, we managed to get our auras read after brunch. Mine was quite atrocious, with a pie chart that showed 0% spirit, 0% mind and 100% body (111 activity, 0 relaxation), which correlated to a completely red aura (root chakra). Candle’s reading was marginally better with 1% spirit, 14% mind and 85% body (87 activity, 10 relaxation). Though their aura was predominantly red, they had some energies radiating at higher green/ blue frequencies.


However, in terms of colour, that reading wasn’t too far off from the first time I had an aura photo taken in 2016 at Magic Jewelry on Canal Street, NYC. With red, orange and yellow hues present, I hope this can serve as empirical evidence proving that I don’t need to wear warm tones or have red hair to resolve the lack of fire within my chi 氣. In the same vein, I hope this website serves as an unserious way to organise thoughts and give some semblance of structure to chaotic energies.